A few hours back Mumbai was attacked by the terrorists in one the deadliest and ghastliest terrorist incidents in Indian history...foreigners held hostages..innocent civilians killed in randoom shootings...top notch hotels burning in fire...total chaos and helplessness prevailing everywhere...with cops and army and firemen putting their own lives in jeopardy to save people...
I was shocked,stunned and stupefied beyond words...sitting far away from the homeland..and getting such news on international channels..makes us feel so helpless and hopelessly in despair...
what's the world coming down to? Just when I was getting tired of reading endless news about unemployment rates soaring everywhere and people losing jobs rampantly and next year predicted to be even worse...here comes even worse news from my own country about lives being taken and the financial center of the country being held seige by a bunch of mindless, horrifying,murderers or terrorists..whtever they are called..I wish I had more severe adjectives but my mind is just blocked with anger and frustration and shock right now...
What do you do when you are caught in this kind of a situation of borderline anarchy wherein there is no safety whatsoever of your life even when you are living in a time where technology and science have progressed by leaps and bounds and countrie have become financially sound and human race as a whole is supposed to have become more educated and civilized? but honestly..how are we any better of than the stone age people or worse..animals..who keep killing each other? only difference being that humans know how to apply their minds! yes right..apply our minds to do what? kill fellow humans? and for what? in the name of religion? stupid hypocritical beliefs? faith? what does that even mean?
noone in any country is safe in today's world...coz anywhere anyone can be attacked not by robbers or rapists but by terrorists...a bunch of people who themselves have lost their sanity and have no respect for anyone else,forget about respect for themselves. And these people claim that they respect their religion?
A world which also gave birth to peace leaders such as Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa,Nelson Mandela...is now witnessing world war III-not between any 2 groups but everyone against everyone! But for what? to gain supremacy? over whom? the muslims want to rule the world? no right..coz they themselves are torn apart by their ideals in Iraq, Iran and the entire middle east.
What do they really want? (I concentrate on the muslims here coz there's been widespread evidence that this one religious group is repsonsible for so many terrorist attacks worldwide).
In my linited knowledge, this is beyond me.
All I know is that the world is becoming less and less a safe place to live in. and we ourselves are responsible for this. What kind of a world are we really leaving behind for our next generation? One which is fraught with conflicts and wars and killings and bloodshed, even when there's apparent progress on the surface?
Throughout my years of growing up, I would hear bout the riots at Ayodhya, Bombay, Calcutta-what has changed even when I am grown up? Nothing! What will change when my kids are born? Maybe things will worsen...with countries getting nuke power and so much of under hand dealings going on in trillions of dollars in arms and ammunitions..who is innocent in this fierce war? Maybe no one..but setting aside the blame game..why can't we for once be happy and peaceful with what we have? Why this non-stop ferocious greed to conquer more?
This greed has gotten the better of us everywhere...in financial world..world's most powerful country is now under the most severe financial distress just coz of sheer greed..the rest of the world is reeling under the pressures too...everywhere there's so much of greed..to get more and more and more...why? I understand you need a certain amount of greed perhaps to succeed in life..you need to want something...but when did it cross the limits and reach an extent whereby it was no more manageable?
All I hope is that someday somehow in future..some miracle happens and this world actually becomes a better place to live in..for everyone..from Somalia and Sudan to Chile and Venezuela to Ohio and Detroit to Iceland and Ukraine to Iran and Israel to Pakistan and Bangkok, to Tibet and Indonesia...a safer place to breathe and enjoy life...with no fear. Hope it is less complicated than what it seems now.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
3Ps...
That title could mean anything...during my college days in Calcutta, they meant "prem,politics & porashona" (strictly in that order: prem meaning 'love' & 'porashona' meaning studies in Bengali!). During my PhD days in California,I write them to mean "patriotism, politics, parties"(not sure about the order that is and/or the order that should be). Confused?
Circa July4,2008: Hundreds and thousands of people gather in different big cities of the United States to enjoy fireworks,parades, baseball games and celebrate a very special day: the American Independence Day. In the capital city this is further accompanied by live concerts and playing the national anthem in front of the US Congress building where people gather in scores waving the American flag. From Detroit to New York to Florida to San Francisco-it's celebrations time everywhere.And one will be surprised by the number of people who actually come out of their homes, not only to use the national holiday as a day for visiting museums, relatives and amusement parks but also to take part in these festivities, as proud Americans wearing t-shirts/caps that have the emblem of the national flag. And as they gather in one place, you can overhear snippets of conversations about what is going on in Iraq, what should be the next health policy legislation, what should we do about climate change so on so forth-bunch of aware,opinionated,vocal and passionate Americans. It's clear as you hear them whether a person talking is a Democrat or a Republican. Seldom will you come across someone who does not have a view and who is 'independent'. This is fascinating to me!
It suddenly dawns upon me, what is the American Independence all about?Who is it that they got their independence from? Not surprisingly the British who had were the most prominent colonizers in the 1700s. But how many of us living in the US right now really know the details of how America won its independence, how severe were the wars, who were the main freedom fighters so to say,how long did the wars continue etc, without immediately doing a wiki search on it? I bet very few or I could be wrong-does not matter. What matters is they are proud of their country irrespective of what had happened in the past.
Circa Aug15, any year: It's the Indian Independence Day. The PM delivers a speech in the capital city of Delhi, hoists the flag and it's telecast all over the country. How many Indians living in India on that day actually listen to his speech? Maybe the media should do a survey but I would not quote a very optimistic number. I remember 15 Aug newspapers would always be in big volumes coz with every passing year, there's always more to write about the past. They write long provocative articles about the great freedom fighters, the 200 years of oppression, the current 'shining' India and the glorious future. But other than these, what exactly happens in the other big cities of the country? How do we celebrate our Independence Day? Well, it's a national holiday and so we Indians get a day off and hence we......enjoy in our own ways!!
(Surprisingly, a wiki search on July 4 vs Aug 15 yields striking results in terms of the length of things to write about-- in utter contrast to the duration of time for which these 2 countries were under the British colonial rule!!!)
However, if we Indians, were so oppressed for as long as two centuries and if our forefathers gave their lives to win the so coveted freedom and when tons of movies have been made and songs have been written to commemorate this huge event..then why is it that a country of millions of people does not celebrate this most special day with pomp and grandeur, not just in Delhi but EVERYWHERE? If we can have fashion weeks like Paris and Milan and rock concerts inviting Michael Jackson and Bryan Adams and if we can use the images of Mahatma Gandhi in every possible way to glorify our dear country, then why on earth can't we spend money to enjoy this special day with extravagant festivities with flags and the national anthem and blatantly express our pride?
Coz we just don't care enough!
Despite having one of the most brutal and violent freedom struggles in the entire world, we have taken this freedom so much for granted that it does not matter to us anymore.
It may sound silly when I say why we don't celebrate-intellectuals with a lot more 'depth' will say just by celebrating you can't show the love for your country! Well my question to them is, forget what I said but how exactly are we at all showing our love for the country, not just on Aug 15 but on any given day of any given year?
By renaming our major cities in native languages so that they don't have 'foreign' influence in their names? By killing people in the name of 'demand for regional autonomy' as in the North-East? By demolishing mosques to build temples and temples to build mosques? By burning the priests of a church? By instigating riots/strikes at the drop of a hat whenever some demand of some party somewhere is not fulfilled? And I could go on....
When I see hundreds of Americans standing together singing the national anthem to remember their own freedom struggle I think, why have I not ever seen hundreds of Indians do the same thing except for school functions or a few national concerts and shows where it's more a ritual rather than a matter of pride?
Maybe on that particular day, celebrating our independence, standing altogether in one place does count. Maybe holding the flag in our hands and once again listening to Nehru's famous speech does help. To remind us forgetful Indians, what we were, what we are, how we have come this far, what was the extent of sacrifice involved, what we owe to our country and what we should do to move forward---together as one whole....as one entity...Indians.
Maybe there's reason why America today is still world's most powerful nation-despite being perhaps the most disliked country elsewhere. They care less about what others think about them and more about what they think about themselves. They love their country, are proud of it and do not feel ashamed to show that pride to the rest of the world. They criticize bad leaders and glorify the good ones. On their independence day I have seen and felt the expression of patriotism-in every possible way; have seldom seen that back home. They have politics and they have parties-they have problems too and tons of it; but they belong to a nation which values patriotism. Why don't we ever hear a certain state of the US, say Louisiana or Michigan or whichever, in today's new millennium, protest for autonomy? They have diversities too-ethnic,religious and cultural and most importantly in skin color. Yet they coexist-as the most successful nation; as a nation that draws people from all over the world.
We have the largest democracy in the world and a multi party system.
Surprisingly, most young Indians today when asked can't say which party they belong to or which party they support!!! They are mostly 'independent' coz very few people have an idea what each of the zillions of parties we have, stands for! Hence, young, educated middle class Indians often refrain from voting coz we don't know who to vote for! We have opinions and views but after a point of time we don't express it coz we feel hopeless! So we all leave the country for the 'land of opportunity' and feel very patriotic for India from thousands of miles way. We have Indian cultural festivals in the US where we invite Indian celebrities and heck, we even listen to the PM's Independence Day speech on youtube.com !! We even harbor dreams of some day going back to India and do 'something' for the country. And my bet is, as NRIs we will perhaps do more coz from the distance, patriotism genuinely sprouts when you are amongst people from so many different nationalities. So I would at least hope for that.
Circa July4,2008: Hundreds and thousands of people gather in different big cities of the United States to enjoy fireworks,parades, baseball games and celebrate a very special day: the American Independence Day. In the capital city this is further accompanied by live concerts and playing the national anthem in front of the US Congress building where people gather in scores waving the American flag. From Detroit to New York to Florida to San Francisco-it's celebrations time everywhere.And one will be surprised by the number of people who actually come out of their homes, not only to use the national holiday as a day for visiting museums, relatives and amusement parks but also to take part in these festivities, as proud Americans wearing t-shirts/caps that have the emblem of the national flag. And as they gather in one place, you can overhear snippets of conversations about what is going on in Iraq, what should be the next health policy legislation, what should we do about climate change so on so forth-bunch of aware,opinionated,vocal and passionate Americans. It's clear as you hear them whether a person talking is a Democrat or a Republican. Seldom will you come across someone who does not have a view and who is 'independent'. This is fascinating to me!
It suddenly dawns upon me, what is the American Independence all about?Who is it that they got their independence from? Not surprisingly the British who had were the most prominent colonizers in the 1700s. But how many of us living in the US right now really know the details of how America won its independence, how severe were the wars, who were the main freedom fighters so to say,how long did the wars continue etc, without immediately doing a wiki search on it? I bet very few or I could be wrong-does not matter. What matters is they are proud of their country irrespective of what had happened in the past.
Circa Aug15, any year: It's the Indian Independence Day. The PM delivers a speech in the capital city of Delhi, hoists the flag and it's telecast all over the country. How many Indians living in India on that day actually listen to his speech? Maybe the media should do a survey but I would not quote a very optimistic number. I remember 15 Aug newspapers would always be in big volumes coz with every passing year, there's always more to write about the past. They write long provocative articles about the great freedom fighters, the 200 years of oppression, the current 'shining' India and the glorious future. But other than these, what exactly happens in the other big cities of the country? How do we celebrate our Independence Day? Well, it's a national holiday and so we Indians get a day off and hence we......enjoy in our own ways!!
(Surprisingly, a wiki search on July 4 vs Aug 15 yields striking results in terms of the length of things to write about-- in utter contrast to the duration of time for which these 2 countries were under the British colonial rule!!!)
However, if we Indians, were so oppressed for as long as two centuries and if our forefathers gave their lives to win the so coveted freedom and when tons of movies have been made and songs have been written to commemorate this huge event..then why is it that a country of millions of people does not celebrate this most special day with pomp and grandeur, not just in Delhi but EVERYWHERE? If we can have fashion weeks like Paris and Milan and rock concerts inviting Michael Jackson and Bryan Adams and if we can use the images of Mahatma Gandhi in every possible way to glorify our dear country, then why on earth can't we spend money to enjoy this special day with extravagant festivities with flags and the national anthem and blatantly express our pride?
Coz we just don't care enough!
Despite having one of the most brutal and violent freedom struggles in the entire world, we have taken this freedom so much for granted that it does not matter to us anymore.
It may sound silly when I say why we don't celebrate-intellectuals with a lot more 'depth' will say just by celebrating you can't show the love for your country! Well my question to them is, forget what I said but how exactly are we at all showing our love for the country, not just on Aug 15 but on any given day of any given year?
By renaming our major cities in native languages so that they don't have 'foreign' influence in their names? By killing people in the name of 'demand for regional autonomy' as in the North-East? By demolishing mosques to build temples and temples to build mosques? By burning the priests of a church? By instigating riots/strikes at the drop of a hat whenever some demand of some party somewhere is not fulfilled? And I could go on....
When I see hundreds of Americans standing together singing the national anthem to remember their own freedom struggle I think, why have I not ever seen hundreds of Indians do the same thing except for school functions or a few national concerts and shows where it's more a ritual rather than a matter of pride?
Maybe on that particular day, celebrating our independence, standing altogether in one place does count. Maybe holding the flag in our hands and once again listening to Nehru's famous speech does help. To remind us forgetful Indians, what we were, what we are, how we have come this far, what was the extent of sacrifice involved, what we owe to our country and what we should do to move forward---together as one whole....as one entity...Indians.
Maybe there's reason why America today is still world's most powerful nation-despite being perhaps the most disliked country elsewhere. They care less about what others think about them and more about what they think about themselves. They love their country, are proud of it and do not feel ashamed to show that pride to the rest of the world. They criticize bad leaders and glorify the good ones. On their independence day I have seen and felt the expression of patriotism-in every possible way; have seldom seen that back home. They have politics and they have parties-they have problems too and tons of it; but they belong to a nation which values patriotism. Why don't we ever hear a certain state of the US, say Louisiana or Michigan or whichever, in today's new millennium, protest for autonomy? They have diversities too-ethnic,religious and cultural and most importantly in skin color. Yet they coexist-as the most successful nation; as a nation that draws people from all over the world.
We have the largest democracy in the world and a multi party system.
Surprisingly, most young Indians today when asked can't say which party they belong to or which party they support!!! They are mostly 'independent' coz very few people have an idea what each of the zillions of parties we have, stands for! Hence, young, educated middle class Indians often refrain from voting coz we don't know who to vote for! We have opinions and views but after a point of time we don't express it coz we feel hopeless! So we all leave the country for the 'land of opportunity' and feel very patriotic for India from thousands of miles way. We have Indian cultural festivals in the US where we invite Indian celebrities and heck, we even listen to the PM's Independence Day speech on youtube.com !! We even harbor dreams of some day going back to India and do 'something' for the country. And my bet is, as NRIs we will perhaps do more coz from the distance, patriotism genuinely sprouts when you are amongst people from so many different nationalities. So I would at least hope for that.
Friday, September 5, 2008
dreamland...
Just finished listening to Randy Pausch's last lecture and am in a trance of my own.A professor at Carnegie Mellon University with pancreatic cancer and only a few months to live..gave one of the best lectures I have ever heard..about childhood dreams :-) (couldn't help that smile coz pretty much thruout the lecture I have been smiling only to realize how long it's really been since I stopped to notice that am smiling!) and as it always happens with me..this got me into a wondering and wandering mode....asking myself...what were my childhood dreams?
I wanted to be a teacher..as far back as I can remember..when I was only 6 years old..in a fancy dress competition of my school, I dressed up as my favorite teacher(Mrs. Karmakar-I never told her and wonder whether she would ever read this!) wearing false glasses(just the frame and with no glass) and proudly walking with others in the fancy parade.I didn't win but that sure did leave some impression somewhere in my mind when years later I voluntarily chose to be in the academics shunning the lure of the wall-street-type corporate world. And as I write this, I remember my childhood dream all over again..something I had so totally forgotten in the pursuit of more short term objectives and goals and in the mad rush of the last 20 years!!
Do we all have childhood dreams? I bet we do coz as kids we have so much more imagination and such pollution free, simple minds that ANYTHING seems possible. But how often do we really remember what those dreams were, what they meant to us then and how close we are now to fulfilling them, if at all?
And I also realized, even childhood dreams are so much a function of one's own surroundings which in turn get influenced by the whole cultural-social-national-familial gamut of attributes that at times when you sit with a bunch of girls from different countries and hence diverse backgrounds, you realize what a wide range of dreams there can be even amongst kids!
It's all so much a function of where we belong, what kind of set up we are used to and what values are being instilled in us. And it's so much fun to take a stock of things after so many years have passed! As I was growing up and watching more television and traveling more to different cities with my parents who loved traveling, I developed this enormous liking for fashion and 'good life' (of course when I understood what it even meant!) and a love for going to new places and meeting new people. Wherever we would go, I would end up talking to strangers and making friends with them and then after we came back home, would eat up my mom's head about how I so wanted to keep in touch with all my travel-friends! And the fashion and party thing really got me hooked on to it and with it brought a whole new dimension in my dreams..I not only wanted to become a model(and hence appear on the TV of course!) but also wanted to enjoy life--whatever that meant at a young age! and I also wanted to write..I would read these short stories in Bengali and immediately visualize myself writing as well and other people reading whatever I write! The very thought of it was such an adrenaline rush!
And when I look back..it feels good to realize that luckily I had dreams which are not very difficult to accomplish..nothing like being in a space ship or being a national sports player!!!
But my point here is...do we really follow our childhood dreams as we move on with our mundane lives crossing one hurdle after the other, earning one degree after the other and moving from one city to another? Or is it that somewhere in the hectic competitive maddening race to reach 'somewhere' almost on a daily basis, we forget what we actually loved doing when we were kids? How many of us are right now doing things or are close to doing things we wanted to do as kids? I sincerely hope the answer is most of us..coz if it's not, then there's high chance we are spending hours and days living a life we never wanted to but we end up sleeping at night saying it's all a function of destiny!
Well..maybe it is..but maybe sometime if we try we also have the power and the capacity to change our destinies if we really believe in something. Maybe the dreams we had as kids or even as we were growing up, are made of stuff we really feel passionately about and enjoy even thinking about them and maybe what we are doing now is so far removed from it-could be circumstantial pressures, could be so many different reasons but I am sure it's never too late and that it surely is worth giving those things a sincere shot coz after all we do have just one life! And yeah..we would always have demands of others to fulfill...parents,spouses,kids,relatives,friends,bosses yada yada yada..and there would be endless forces trying to pull us away from what we really want to do (coz they would seem impossible now or silly or even absurd to achieve) but maybe that's we love and at the end of the day..we have the right to do something for our own sake too and the heck we deserve it!
When was the last time we had a dream to do something or be someone and when was the last time we wanted to achieve it and went for it?
As I take stock of what my dreams were and where I stand today...I realize the even better part of it...the wonderful journey and the feeling that I am getting an inch closer to fulfilling some dream of mine and that is what counts to me as I go to bed and that is what I want to tell everyone who is reading this...to dream and feel happy about it and maybe even try to accomplish a part of it..and as I write this..I fondly remember a good friend of mine who only today told me to just stop for a while, slow down,take a break and drift away into my favorite dreamland...I did that and trust me friends, it's all so worth it:-)
I wanted to be a teacher..as far back as I can remember..when I was only 6 years old..in a fancy dress competition of my school, I dressed up as my favorite teacher(Mrs. Karmakar-I never told her and wonder whether she would ever read this!) wearing false glasses(just the frame and with no glass) and proudly walking with others in the fancy parade.I didn't win but that sure did leave some impression somewhere in my mind when years later I voluntarily chose to be in the academics shunning the lure of the wall-street-type corporate world. And as I write this, I remember my childhood dream all over again..something I had so totally forgotten in the pursuit of more short term objectives and goals and in the mad rush of the last 20 years!!
Do we all have childhood dreams? I bet we do coz as kids we have so much more imagination and such pollution free, simple minds that ANYTHING seems possible. But how often do we really remember what those dreams were, what they meant to us then and how close we are now to fulfilling them, if at all?
And I also realized, even childhood dreams are so much a function of one's own surroundings which in turn get influenced by the whole cultural-social-national-familial gamut of attributes that at times when you sit with a bunch of girls from different countries and hence diverse backgrounds, you realize what a wide range of dreams there can be even amongst kids!
It's all so much a function of where we belong, what kind of set up we are used to and what values are being instilled in us. And it's so much fun to take a stock of things after so many years have passed! As I was growing up and watching more television and traveling more to different cities with my parents who loved traveling, I developed this enormous liking for fashion and 'good life' (of course when I understood what it even meant!) and a love for going to new places and meeting new people. Wherever we would go, I would end up talking to strangers and making friends with them and then after we came back home, would eat up my mom's head about how I so wanted to keep in touch with all my travel-friends! And the fashion and party thing really got me hooked on to it and with it brought a whole new dimension in my dreams..I not only wanted to become a model(and hence appear on the TV of course!) but also wanted to enjoy life--whatever that meant at a young age! and I also wanted to write..I would read these short stories in Bengali and immediately visualize myself writing as well and other people reading whatever I write! The very thought of it was such an adrenaline rush!
And when I look back..it feels good to realize that luckily I had dreams which are not very difficult to accomplish..nothing like being in a space ship or being a national sports player!!!
But my point here is...do we really follow our childhood dreams as we move on with our mundane lives crossing one hurdle after the other, earning one degree after the other and moving from one city to another? Or is it that somewhere in the hectic competitive maddening race to reach 'somewhere' almost on a daily basis, we forget what we actually loved doing when we were kids? How many of us are right now doing things or are close to doing things we wanted to do as kids? I sincerely hope the answer is most of us..coz if it's not, then there's high chance we are spending hours and days living a life we never wanted to but we end up sleeping at night saying it's all a function of destiny!
Well..maybe it is..but maybe sometime if we try we also have the power and the capacity to change our destinies if we really believe in something. Maybe the dreams we had as kids or even as we were growing up, are made of stuff we really feel passionately about and enjoy even thinking about them and maybe what we are doing now is so far removed from it-could be circumstantial pressures, could be so many different reasons but I am sure it's never too late and that it surely is worth giving those things a sincere shot coz after all we do have just one life! And yeah..we would always have demands of others to fulfill...parents,spouses,kids,relatives,friends,bosses yada yada yada..and there would be endless forces trying to pull us away from what we really want to do (coz they would seem impossible now or silly or even absurd to achieve) but maybe that's we love and at the end of the day..we have the right to do something for our own sake too and the heck we deserve it!
When was the last time we had a dream to do something or be someone and when was the last time we wanted to achieve it and went for it?
As I take stock of what my dreams were and where I stand today...I realize the even better part of it...the wonderful journey and the feeling that I am getting an inch closer to fulfilling some dream of mine and that is what counts to me as I go to bed and that is what I want to tell everyone who is reading this...to dream and feel happy about it and maybe even try to accomplish a part of it..and as I write this..I fondly remember a good friend of mine who only today told me to just stop for a while, slow down,take a break and drift away into my favorite dreamland...I did that and trust me friends, it's all so worth it:-)
Thursday, August 14, 2008
21st century...women
During my days as a Master’s student in the Indian capital, I came across a group of women who used to call themselves ‘feminists’-they would organize events of all sorts to uphold the rights, freedom and equality of women. These were well-educated, fashionable ladies from the higher echelons of the Indian society who would pick up all sorts of social issues concerning women and keep themselves busy with that. Ironically, many of them were dependent on their respective husbands for monetary requirements.
And then I come to the US and now in the US capital, I meet these women’s rights' organization people who run offices employing women of all ages (well-educated of course; they even have undergrad interns!) and host high profile ‘women’s cause related’ events where Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton are invited to give speeches! Wow-I was impressed & touched! (A young intern couldn’t stop exclaiming about the exhilarating moment when Hillary apparently looked at her and smiled; the 20 yr. old has of course decided to become a ‘feminist’, to devote her life to the noble cause of fighting for women’s equality!) In such events they sit and discuss and form opinion and write articles on issues such as the righteousness of treating birth-control pills as a mechanism by which life is destroyed and the right of women to choose regarding abortion etc.
In both instances in both countries, they came across to me as highly elitist groups of women who can empathize with any issue concerning women all over the world and will fire up at the slightest mention of any harassment or oppression against women in any country-very noble cause indeed.
But this got me thinking-what do these feminists really ‘do’ to ‘solve’ these real issues that they so passionately discuss sitting in their air-conditioned swanky offices in some high-rise building of DC or Delhi? How many of these women wearing Ann Taylor suits and stilettos and carrying Gucci bags and figuring out which celebrity guest speaker to invite for the next conference on ‘women as rape victims’ or ‘women’s liberation & empowerment’ etc etc, have ever gone out there and seen with their own eyes what really happens in the areas where women are most oppressed or have actually met and spoken to the so-called ‘victims’-the subjects of their own professional careers? It’s true that you surely need influential people to uphold such causes in order to implement any policy that may solve the issues-and sections of representatives in the government are theoretically supposed to be doing so. And then there are the NGOs the members of which actually do the ‘field-work’, raise donations and try to reach out to the women who need their help and support. Amidst all these, what exactly do the ‘feminists’ do to contribute in any meaningful manner? Honestly, I have no idea and if someone has, I will be glad to learn!
It seems to me that ‘feminism’ has become a social-status-symbol, some kind of a mini-cult, a fashionable tag you can carry around like your Gucci bag.
We talk of a post-modern 21st century where couple are going to the space to get married!
In this same era, there exist countries such as Uganda where the sole purpose of women is to ‘produce’-if a woman can’t bear a child, she is considered a ‘failure’-abandoned by husband and parents, kept secluded from the rest of the society and left all to herself to die and it never occurs to the men that their own physical problems can also lead to such issues;
In certain impoverished villages of India, the ‘devadasi’ system is still in vogue where the parents of a girl-child force her into prostitution in the name of serving the Gods;
In the recent Beijing Olympic games inauguration ceremony, we saw proud women from countries such as Bahrain and Egypt marching alongside with the men-but did anyone spot any woman representative for Saudi Arabia or Qatar? Most likely no because the religious leaders of these countries have banned women from participating in sports because they fear that women will get attracted to each other and violate Islam rules once they come out in the open wearing ‘leotards and tight tops’;
Such issues from all over the world are endless and I only hope that some day instead of writing a blog article about these, I can actually go out there to somehow help these women who are forced to live in a totally different era even as the world around them celebrates nuclear deals.
And I also hope that some day in near future, rich, urban women who call themselves ‘feminists’ actually realize that it takes much more than celebrity speeches and fancy conferences or traffic-stopping processions to even get close to these burning issues, let alone solving them.
And then I come to the US and now in the US capital, I meet these women’s rights' organization people who run offices employing women of all ages (well-educated of course; they even have undergrad interns!) and host high profile ‘women’s cause related’ events where Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton are invited to give speeches! Wow-I was impressed & touched! (A young intern couldn’t stop exclaiming about the exhilarating moment when Hillary apparently looked at her and smiled; the 20 yr. old has of course decided to become a ‘feminist’, to devote her life to the noble cause of fighting for women’s equality!) In such events they sit and discuss and form opinion and write articles on issues such as the righteousness of treating birth-control pills as a mechanism by which life is destroyed and the right of women to choose regarding abortion etc.
In both instances in both countries, they came across to me as highly elitist groups of women who can empathize with any issue concerning women all over the world and will fire up at the slightest mention of any harassment or oppression against women in any country-very noble cause indeed.
But this got me thinking-what do these feminists really ‘do’ to ‘solve’ these real issues that they so passionately discuss sitting in their air-conditioned swanky offices in some high-rise building of DC or Delhi? How many of these women wearing Ann Taylor suits and stilettos and carrying Gucci bags and figuring out which celebrity guest speaker to invite for the next conference on ‘women as rape victims’ or ‘women’s liberation & empowerment’ etc etc, have ever gone out there and seen with their own eyes what really happens in the areas where women are most oppressed or have actually met and spoken to the so-called ‘victims’-the subjects of their own professional careers? It’s true that you surely need influential people to uphold such causes in order to implement any policy that may solve the issues-and sections of representatives in the government are theoretically supposed to be doing so. And then there are the NGOs the members of which actually do the ‘field-work’, raise donations and try to reach out to the women who need their help and support. Amidst all these, what exactly do the ‘feminists’ do to contribute in any meaningful manner? Honestly, I have no idea and if someone has, I will be glad to learn!
It seems to me that ‘feminism’ has become a social-status-symbol, some kind of a mini-cult, a fashionable tag you can carry around like your Gucci bag.
We talk of a post-modern 21st century where couple are going to the space to get married!
In this same era, there exist countries such as Uganda where the sole purpose of women is to ‘produce’-if a woman can’t bear a child, she is considered a ‘failure’-abandoned by husband and parents, kept secluded from the rest of the society and left all to herself to die and it never occurs to the men that their own physical problems can also lead to such issues;
In certain impoverished villages of India, the ‘devadasi’ system is still in vogue where the parents of a girl-child force her into prostitution in the name of serving the Gods;
In the recent Beijing Olympic games inauguration ceremony, we saw proud women from countries such as Bahrain and Egypt marching alongside with the men-but did anyone spot any woman representative for Saudi Arabia or Qatar? Most likely no because the religious leaders of these countries have banned women from participating in sports because they fear that women will get attracted to each other and violate Islam rules once they come out in the open wearing ‘leotards and tight tops’;
Such issues from all over the world are endless and I only hope that some day instead of writing a blog article about these, I can actually go out there to somehow help these women who are forced to live in a totally different era even as the world around them celebrates nuclear deals.
And I also hope that some day in near future, rich, urban women who call themselves ‘feminists’ actually realize that it takes much more than celebrity speeches and fancy conferences or traffic-stopping processions to even get close to these burning issues, let alone solving them.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
a melting pot?
Every morning while going to work, I encounter diverse forms of human life-a perfect manifestation of the 'melting pot' that the US capital has become in course of several years and this gets me thinking to what extent do the people converging here from literally all over the world, really get assimilated in this melting pot?
There're men and women of all possible shapes,sizes,colors;speaking diverse languages,pursuing different religious faiths,hailing from diverse backgrounds,representing myriad cultures-all converging to this city in search of work,of education,of love,of destiny. The contrasts at times can be so stark that one ends up feeling as if it's a huge circus with participants from all possible countries of the world-countries that I didn't even know existed such as Burkina Faso!
But how much do they really get absorbed in the larger whole? And not just for the capital city-this applies to this entire country, the so-called 'land of opportunities' whose visa-stamp seems a must in the passports of urban citizens of all nationalities.
And having stayed here for a while now, I end up getting the feeling that people from similar cultural backgrounds all still living in their own self-formed tiny islands while hanging out with 'others' -it's a process of voluntary clustering that somehow seems inevitable.
In the capital city for instance, there're strictly demarcated neighborhoods where the residents are of two totally different colors and hence social structures and economic landscapes; the transition from one area to the other is so sudden and abrupt that it can make one feel as if one's walking from one world into another! Everything drastically changes-the houses, the gardens, the people standing in the balconies, the cars parked on the roads, the restaurants and grocery stores, the beggars on the streets, the body language of the people walking on the roads, the slang words used...endless differences! How much do these two worlds living side by side interact with each other? I don't know but from the look of it, it seems they interact only when they have to, at work or in schools-and the follow ups during the happy hours at pubs; but when the time comes to go back home, the subtle segregation becomes so not-so-subtle!
Then there is the omnipresent and gloriously famous for the fake gucci & prada bags-'Chinatown', in every major US city-a section where English ceases to be the 1st language! What is it about the people from our partner-in-crime-country that universally makes them cluster in such a prominent manner wherever they go? And I don't have to reiterate the differences in lifestyle and socio-cultural environment and of course cuisines and even road signs(some of the road signs in NY are actually in Chinese!)-as one moves from the 'city' into the 'chinatown'! And coming from India, I cannot of course ignore the grouping that we Indians do too! Look at Silicon Valley or New Jersey or Lexington Square-from sarees and bindis to pan and mother's pickle-nothing is unavailable in these mini-India's, which at times confuse me-where exactly am I?
Is it economically a more viable option for people hailing from similar backgrounds,to cluster all together in one area in this huge melting pot? or is it because, even if we are far away from our respective motherlands and want to get a taste of 'international exposure' during our pursuit of the 'great American dream', we still want to remain close to people we can relate to without having to spend hours and days trying to explain what we really are?
Maybe the presence of these clusters in some way further facilitate the migration of more and more ambitious young people to this land of dreams, by giving them a sense of security that even though they are willfully getting removed from their own land, they will still be close to their own people?
In a country where the citizens are day and night getting categorized into several isolated camps-liberals or conservatives or neo-cons, yankee-fans or the non-yankees, ivy leaguers or the community college goers, New Yorkers or Californians, techies or wall-street-ers, mormons or scientologists and endless such clusters; maybe it's inevitable that the migrants who constitute such a major proportion of the American population, will continue to have their own separate islands-it's like a mini-world in one country! So maybe after all, we all don't really melt together in this huge melting pot....
There're men and women of all possible shapes,sizes,colors;speaking diverse languages,pursuing different religious faiths,hailing from diverse backgrounds,representing myriad cultures-all converging to this city in search of work,of education,of love,of destiny. The contrasts at times can be so stark that one ends up feeling as if it's a huge circus with participants from all possible countries of the world-countries that I didn't even know existed such as Burkina Faso!
But how much do they really get absorbed in the larger whole? And not just for the capital city-this applies to this entire country, the so-called 'land of opportunities' whose visa-stamp seems a must in the passports of urban citizens of all nationalities.
And having stayed here for a while now, I end up getting the feeling that people from similar cultural backgrounds all still living in their own self-formed tiny islands while hanging out with 'others' -it's a process of voluntary clustering that somehow seems inevitable.
In the capital city for instance, there're strictly demarcated neighborhoods where the residents are of two totally different colors and hence social structures and economic landscapes; the transition from one area to the other is so sudden and abrupt that it can make one feel as if one's walking from one world into another! Everything drastically changes-the houses, the gardens, the people standing in the balconies, the cars parked on the roads, the restaurants and grocery stores, the beggars on the streets, the body language of the people walking on the roads, the slang words used...endless differences! How much do these two worlds living side by side interact with each other? I don't know but from the look of it, it seems they interact only when they have to, at work or in schools-and the follow ups during the happy hours at pubs; but when the time comes to go back home, the subtle segregation becomes so not-so-subtle!
Then there is the omnipresent and gloriously famous for the fake gucci & prada bags-'Chinatown', in every major US city-a section where English ceases to be the 1st language! What is it about the people from our partner-in-crime-country that universally makes them cluster in such a prominent manner wherever they go? And I don't have to reiterate the differences in lifestyle and socio-cultural environment and of course cuisines and even road signs(some of the road signs in NY are actually in Chinese!)-as one moves from the 'city' into the 'chinatown'! And coming from India, I cannot of course ignore the grouping that we Indians do too! Look at Silicon Valley or New Jersey or Lexington Square-from sarees and bindis to pan and mother's pickle-nothing is unavailable in these mini-India's, which at times confuse me-where exactly am I?
Is it economically a more viable option for people hailing from similar backgrounds,to cluster all together in one area in this huge melting pot? or is it because, even if we are far away from our respective motherlands and want to get a taste of 'international exposure' during our pursuit of the 'great American dream', we still want to remain close to people we can relate to without having to spend hours and days trying to explain what we really are?
Maybe the presence of these clusters in some way further facilitate the migration of more and more ambitious young people to this land of dreams, by giving them a sense of security that even though they are willfully getting removed from their own land, they will still be close to their own people?
In a country where the citizens are day and night getting categorized into several isolated camps-liberals or conservatives or neo-cons, yankee-fans or the non-yankees, ivy leaguers or the community college goers, New Yorkers or Californians, techies or wall-street-ers, mormons or scientologists and endless such clusters; maybe it's inevitable that the migrants who constitute such a major proportion of the American population, will continue to have their own separate islands-it's like a mini-world in one country! So maybe after all, we all don't really melt together in this huge melting pot....
Thursday, August 7, 2008
married vs singles
The moment I write the 2-lettered 'vs' for anything, it seems as if it connotes a war or a fight or a battle-so why did I think of using this to separate the words 'married' and 'singles'? Well,my intention is surely not to start a warfare here-that's for a later time ;-)
I happen to be a die hard romantic who believes that someone somewhere is surely waiting for you and if you believe in love, you will meet that person no matter what and get swept off your feet and fall hopelessly in love and then the whole universe will conspire such that things will eventually work out irrespective of the hurdles! However, what exactly do I mean when I say,'things will work out'?
What do we look for when we fall in love(assuming there is something called love which is nice and beautiful and doesn't come without heartaches)?
Do we just enjoy the moments spent with our beloved and get carried away in the sheer romanticism of the whole thing with a constant smile on our face shamelessly giving away how happy we are and find something good in everything around us or do we over and above these, start thinking when will he propose or whether she will say yes(assuming the traditional mode)or what will my mom say etc, i.e.. in other words, work out the possible logistics of the final destination-'marriage'?
Well, most of us will do the latter coz we all want to make ourselves happy by ensuring we get what we want-and we want 'not to stay single'-so now that we are in love(of course while falling in love,we have already resolved the doubts in our minds as to whether this person is the right one and hence have done the necessary subconscious calculations), what better thing to do than to put the 2 things together and decide to 'formally' live together-cutting it short, get married!! And it's actually nice coz you genuinely feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with this beloved of yours and if things go that way, then voila!
However,what about the other half of the population who still haven't fallen in love? Who still haven't 'found the one' and things still haven't 'worked out' for them? For those who are still 'single'?
Maybe some of them had relationships which didn't work out and some actually haven't found anyone--but whatever it maybe, they live their lives the way they want. However,they can't remain like that for a long time! Very soon, the realization that the world around them is fast getting metamorphosed into being 'married'(the 'age' is increasing!), starts haunting them-the 'what-ifs' torment their otherwise peaceful thoughts-what if they end up being 'single'?what if they end up being 'alone'? what if they have to come back to an 'empty house'?And before you know, these pangs get the better of them and in a few months' time they find themselves as the spouses of unknown strangers that their folks and relatives have 'found' for them(thanks to the entire system of equations involving horoscopes and pundits!) and voila,life moves on again!and what about love? well, you start staying with the person and marriage being a lovely bond, generates love between the two people coz 'everything else' looks good on paper-so it happens (yeah right, coz there's no option!)
This makes me ponder, what exactly are the so-called 'singles' afraid of, to an extent that they are willing to disregard all their apprehensions,their fears, their doubts-everything to take the plunge into a supposedly life-long relation with someone whom they hardly know, forget about being able to connect to or being in love-just coz the horoscopes have matched and the 'parents feel' he/she is the correct choice? I hear cases where people meet only twice before they tie the knot!! (how's it even better than not meeting at all!) How can just 2-3 meetings with a person contribute toward a decision to spending the rest of life together!
Are today's 'singles' so desperate to find companionship that they basically don't care what kind of a person the spouse really is-as long as the family background and degrees look 'fine'?Are they prepared to make any adjustment required as long as they don't have to spend their lives alone? Are they scared of suddenly finding themselves in the middle of a room where all their friends and cousins are present with their respective partners but not them? Is it like, when everyone around you is not 'single', then you start having these pangs and give in to them, (typically between 25-35 I am assuming for Indian men-women) even if that includes the fearsome possibility that post-marriage you realize you just can't relate to the person sleeping beside you ,coz there was no connection to start with?
What will all the horoscopes matching and impressive resumes and good family background do then to resolve such a fundamental discrepancy?
If loneliness is the main issue here, then does marriage always provide a solution to it? Is the trade-off between staying happily alone and waiting for love to happen or getting hooked to a stranger for the sake of being with someone, so lopsided that the former has ceased to be an option? Are we willing to pay such a heavy price of spending the rest of our lives with a stranger just coz we can't bear the thought of remaining single?
I happen to be a die hard romantic who believes that someone somewhere is surely waiting for you and if you believe in love, you will meet that person no matter what and get swept off your feet and fall hopelessly in love and then the whole universe will conspire such that things will eventually work out irrespective of the hurdles! However, what exactly do I mean when I say,'things will work out'?
What do we look for when we fall in love(assuming there is something called love which is nice and beautiful and doesn't come without heartaches)?
Do we just enjoy the moments spent with our beloved and get carried away in the sheer romanticism of the whole thing with a constant smile on our face shamelessly giving away how happy we are and find something good in everything around us or do we over and above these, start thinking when will he propose or whether she will say yes(assuming the traditional mode)or what will my mom say etc, i.e.. in other words, work out the possible logistics of the final destination-'marriage'?
Well, most of us will do the latter coz we all want to make ourselves happy by ensuring we get what we want-and we want 'not to stay single'-so now that we are in love(of course while falling in love,we have already resolved the doubts in our minds as to whether this person is the right one and hence have done the necessary subconscious calculations), what better thing to do than to put the 2 things together and decide to 'formally' live together-cutting it short, get married!! And it's actually nice coz you genuinely feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with this beloved of yours and if things go that way, then voila!
However,what about the other half of the population who still haven't fallen in love? Who still haven't 'found the one' and things still haven't 'worked out' for them? For those who are still 'single'?
Maybe some of them had relationships which didn't work out and some actually haven't found anyone--but whatever it maybe, they live their lives the way they want. However,they can't remain like that for a long time! Very soon, the realization that the world around them is fast getting metamorphosed into being 'married'(the 'age' is increasing!), starts haunting them-the 'what-ifs' torment their otherwise peaceful thoughts-what if they end up being 'single'?what if they end up being 'alone'? what if they have to come back to an 'empty house'?And before you know, these pangs get the better of them and in a few months' time they find themselves as the spouses of unknown strangers that their folks and relatives have 'found' for them(thanks to the entire system of equations involving horoscopes and pundits!) and voila,life moves on again!and what about love? well, you start staying with the person and marriage being a lovely bond, generates love between the two people coz 'everything else' looks good on paper-so it happens (yeah right, coz there's no option!)
This makes me ponder, what exactly are the so-called 'singles' afraid of, to an extent that they are willing to disregard all their apprehensions,their fears, their doubts-everything to take the plunge into a supposedly life-long relation with someone whom they hardly know, forget about being able to connect to or being in love-just coz the horoscopes have matched and the 'parents feel' he/she is the correct choice? I hear cases where people meet only twice before they tie the knot!! (how's it even better than not meeting at all!) How can just 2-3 meetings with a person contribute toward a decision to spending the rest of life together!
Are today's 'singles' so desperate to find companionship that they basically don't care what kind of a person the spouse really is-as long as the family background and degrees look 'fine'?Are they prepared to make any adjustment required as long as they don't have to spend their lives alone? Are they scared of suddenly finding themselves in the middle of a room where all their friends and cousins are present with their respective partners but not them? Is it like, when everyone around you is not 'single', then you start having these pangs and give in to them, (typically between 25-35 I am assuming for Indian men-women) even if that includes the fearsome possibility that post-marriage you realize you just can't relate to the person sleeping beside you ,coz there was no connection to start with?
What will all the horoscopes matching and impressive resumes and good family background do then to resolve such a fundamental discrepancy?
If loneliness is the main issue here, then does marriage always provide a solution to it? Is the trade-off between staying happily alone and waiting for love to happen or getting hooked to a stranger for the sake of being with someone, so lopsided that the former has ceased to be an option? Are we willing to pay such a heavy price of spending the rest of our lives with a stranger just coz we can't bear the thought of remaining single?
Saturday, August 2, 2008
what are we?
Many a time when certain incidents of our personal lives,esp.those related to relationships, cannot be easily fathomed by common sense, we Indians, take recourse to explanations involving our social structure-traditions-customs-religion, that practically have us chained(in the name of being rooted?) and hence the in-built hypocrisies, to comfort ourselves; in the end lo and behold, the inexplicable portions of our lives get very conveniently dumped on destiny-does not matter if we have degrees from a foreign university or if are struggling to earn the minimum wage-it's all the same everywhere. And we tend to think, all this is a crucial element of our Indian-ness; a part of the age-old Indian culture coz the rules and norms have evolved(have they?) or let's say, have been there, for centuries and so we are of course very different from the rest of the world, esp. from the 'white' world who epitomize development and the 'black' world (do they even exist?) about whom we had last heard during the times of Lincoln, may be a bit from Nelson Mandela and maybe just a bit now from the Chinese!
But how different are we really?
The other day I met this undergrad American student from Long Island-a Jew by religion coming from a very religious family and she happened to be in love with this British guy who stays in London and is totally agnostic. And, she is quite uncertain about her future with him due to the religious differences between them but then she draws comfort from the fact they totally love each other and their families just want them to be happy together.
And then another day, in a certain Chinatown bus, I met this African woman from Guinea,traveling with her son; she had come to the US as a tourist. In course of our conversation, she told me how important it is in her country to get married to people from within the same community who speak the same native language( apart from French which is like their national language) and of course have the same religion and how women decide to stay just with their husbands and not with the in-laws and extended families to avoid hassles. She was in fact a bit appalled at the mention of the very concept of 'arranged' fix up where parents find your better half coz apparently even in a poor country such as Guinea, marriages are solely based on love!
And finally there is this Canadian friend of mine who had dated two Indian men at different times and had evidently been quite in love but unfortunately has now decided not to date any more Indian men coz "they never introduce me to their parents..there is this strange psychological hang-up despite the fact that their families live in Toronto!!"
All these left me wondering, where do we Indians stand exactly? And when we claim we are different and 'conservative' coz that's what our tradition demands and that's what our parents have taught us, do we even know what we are saying and what's happening in the rest of the world?
How often do we realize that even the liberal citizens of the so-called developed world also follow similar rules and customs and are not entirely so scattered as we perceive them to be but at the same time, they value individualism and freedom in every sense and believe in the virtues of love? even if ? That, just because the kids leave their parents' homes at 16yrs and have sex way earlier in lives, use birth control pills and don't have an age-old culture or history to always boast of, doesn't necessarily mean they are a wasted bunch? And in fact, just coz we come from a country with an ancient civilization and rich heritage-does that mean we all become virtuous by default when we abide by the so called traditions? Are we even aware that the young people from even the underdeveloped countries in Africa believe in marriage out of love and not just an artificial fix-up by families where you get to meet the person with whom you're supposed to be spending the rest of your life, just twice or thrice before getting knotted with him?
What are we upholding as our principles, beliefs, faith?
To be very calculative when one falls in love?( so that you end up with a person who speaks your language,follows your religious faith,eats your food etc etc; and who exactly are we trying to keep happy by this? ourselves or the larger 'Indian' society, coz the customs want us to do so?)
To maybe have a few affairs here and there(well, you know today's fast generation-you can't really bind them so) but surely stay a virgin till marriage?(and why exactly? coz religion/tradition wants us to think of sex as 'something' that's sinful before marriage but pure after? And how is it that the moment the same Indians cross the national border, the rules change for them?)
I could go on with my questions-but the point is, do we even know what this entire raucous about being an Indian entail in today's world? Does it essentially imply not caring about your own personal satisfaction and happiness but always thinking of what is right or wrong according to the society? How many of us are subconsciously trapped in this web of beliefs-customs-traditions-heritage which has been drilled into us since the day we started interacting with other Indians and hence have forgotten to even question them? We continue to follow the paths chartered by others for us coz that's 'the right thing to do' and never stop to think what we really want for ourselves and even if we do ask during some moments of internal conversation, we are too timid to admit it or by that time, have lost all power to act otherwise and hence follow our destiny--safe and comfortable!
But how different are we really?
The other day I met this undergrad American student from Long Island-a Jew by religion coming from a very religious family and she happened to be in love with this British guy who stays in London and is totally agnostic. And, she is quite uncertain about her future with him due to the religious differences between them but then she draws comfort from the fact they totally love each other and their families just want them to be happy together.
And then another day, in a certain Chinatown bus, I met this African woman from Guinea,traveling with her son; she had come to the US as a tourist. In course of our conversation, she told me how important it is in her country to get married to people from within the same community who speak the same native language( apart from French which is like their national language) and of course have the same religion and how women decide to stay just with their husbands and not with the in-laws and extended families to avoid hassles. She was in fact a bit appalled at the mention of the very concept of 'arranged' fix up where parents find your better half coz apparently even in a poor country such as Guinea, marriages are solely based on love!
And finally there is this Canadian friend of mine who had dated two Indian men at different times and had evidently been quite in love but unfortunately has now decided not to date any more Indian men coz "they never introduce me to their parents..there is this strange psychological hang-up despite the fact that their families live in Toronto!!"
All these left me wondering, where do we Indians stand exactly? And when we claim we are different and 'conservative' coz that's what our tradition demands and that's what our parents have taught us, do we even know what we are saying and what's happening in the rest of the world?
How often do we realize that even the liberal citizens of the so-called developed world also follow similar rules and customs and are not entirely so scattered as we perceive them to be but at the same time, they value individualism and freedom in every sense and believe in the virtues of love? even if ? That, just because the kids leave their parents' homes at 16yrs and have sex way earlier in lives, use birth control pills and don't have an age-old culture or history to always boast of, doesn't necessarily mean they are a wasted bunch? And in fact, just coz we come from a country with an ancient civilization and rich heritage-does that mean we all become virtuous by default when we abide by the so called traditions? Are we even aware that the young people from even the underdeveloped countries in Africa believe in marriage out of love and not just an artificial fix-up by families where you get to meet the person with whom you're supposed to be spending the rest of your life, just twice or thrice before getting knotted with him?
What are we upholding as our principles, beliefs, faith?
To be very calculative when one falls in love?( so that you end up with a person who speaks your language,follows your religious faith,eats your food etc etc; and who exactly are we trying to keep happy by this? ourselves or the larger 'Indian' society, coz the customs want us to do so?)
To maybe have a few affairs here and there(well, you know today's fast generation-you can't really bind them so) but surely stay a virgin till marriage?(and why exactly? coz religion/tradition wants us to think of sex as 'something' that's sinful before marriage but pure after? And how is it that the moment the same Indians cross the national border, the rules change for them?)
I could go on with my questions-but the point is, do we even know what this entire raucous about being an Indian entail in today's world? Does it essentially imply not caring about your own personal satisfaction and happiness but always thinking of what is right or wrong according to the society? How many of us are subconsciously trapped in this web of beliefs-customs-traditions-heritage which has been drilled into us since the day we started interacting with other Indians and hence have forgotten to even question them? We continue to follow the paths chartered by others for us coz that's 'the right thing to do' and never stop to think what we really want for ourselves and even if we do ask during some moments of internal conversation, we are too timid to admit it or by that time, have lost all power to act otherwise and hence follow our destiny--safe and comfortable!
validation....
Today's generation(gen y or gen z?) is supposedly much more independent and confident than those of the yesteryears-be it a function of globalization or fast paced evolution. Even then why do we-the youngsters of the new millennium, seek constant validation? An all-pervasive manifestation of this being the social-networking websites-myspace,facebook,orkut....
what are these websites for in the very first place? Well,theoretically they are used to keep in touch with friends-near and far ,connect to and network with people hence making the world an even smaller place. There was a time when friends and loved ones would exchange handwritten letters and anxiously wait for the postman to deliver it-the love and friendship and affection were so palpable through the pages of the letters and their smell. Then comes the internet-the blessing and curse for modern youth. Emails make life way easier and save time and effort and so letters become obsolete-but what about the emotions involved? Do they also get commercialized in the process for all the new generation of netizens? And now it's the time for writing 'posts on the wall' as a way of keeping in touch or 'scrapping'-saves even more time and one can write even less and yet be in touch!It's magic! But do these innovations really bring us all closer together? Well..maybe I can ponder more over this in a later blog..
But what about the pictures we post,the endless albums we create in those 'networking' websites, (thanks of course to digital photography), the status updates we write, the applications we use? What purpose do they serve?Why do these networking companies even have such features on the websites? Not to mention how every myspacer or facebooker or orkutter religiously uses all these features and ends up spending all that extra time that gets saved by not having to write and post letters!
Are we subconsciously seeking validation of our own existence by showing off to everyone else snippets from our daily lives? pictures of our travel pursuits/parties attended and hence the fun associated with it/new dating partners/getting wasted on booze and hence being very cool/new dog/arbitrary snapshots of the nature or strangers on the road revealing the photographic skills; status updates re:what we are doing at any given point of time; adding all possible 'cool' applications and inviting friends to add them--how much time each day we spend on these? Why do we have to let everyone else know what we are doing and where we are going and with whom we are having fun? Does that mean the whole point of existence becomes futile if you can't show it off to others?
Aren't we the more self-confident, liberated,ambitious bunch of young people who are supposed to know what they want and go after it with passion disregarding silly norms and rules? If so, if we are so sure of ourselves, why do we feel this continuous urge of publicly exposing our life (and of course only the good things that happen-has anyone ever written a status update that reads 'I am so depressed and lonely' or post snaps of mundane,boring daily activities?) and telling people everywhere-we are happy and having fun and being cool? Why do we create a pretty/nice/smart/handsome perception of our personalities on these websites when in reality we can be quite far from it? Does it mean the more isolated we become, the more 'individual space' we seek, the more 'independent' we want to be, we also seek more and more assurance and approval re: our success and happiness over and above others competing in the same race from their isolated, miniscule, closed worlds? Is this a fall out of modernization and ambition or is it an intrinsic part of human nature-that the more secluded we become in pursuit of our self-defined happiness and success, the more insecure we get re:who we are in the very first place?
what are these websites for in the very first place? Well,theoretically they are used to keep in touch with friends-near and far ,connect to and network with people hence making the world an even smaller place. There was a time when friends and loved ones would exchange handwritten letters and anxiously wait for the postman to deliver it-the love and friendship and affection were so palpable through the pages of the letters and their smell. Then comes the internet-the blessing and curse for modern youth. Emails make life way easier and save time and effort and so letters become obsolete-but what about the emotions involved? Do they also get commercialized in the process for all the new generation of netizens? And now it's the time for writing 'posts on the wall' as a way of keeping in touch or 'scrapping'-saves even more time and one can write even less and yet be in touch!It's magic! But do these innovations really bring us all closer together? Well..maybe I can ponder more over this in a later blog..
But what about the pictures we post,the endless albums we create in those 'networking' websites, (thanks of course to digital photography), the status updates we write, the applications we use? What purpose do they serve?Why do these networking companies even have such features on the websites? Not to mention how every myspacer or facebooker or orkutter religiously uses all these features and ends up spending all that extra time that gets saved by not having to write and post letters!
Are we subconsciously seeking validation of our own existence by showing off to everyone else snippets from our daily lives? pictures of our travel pursuits/parties attended and hence the fun associated with it/new dating partners/getting wasted on booze and hence being very cool/new dog/arbitrary snapshots of the nature or strangers on the road revealing the photographic skills; status updates re:what we are doing at any given point of time; adding all possible 'cool' applications and inviting friends to add them--how much time each day we spend on these? Why do we have to let everyone else know what we are doing and where we are going and with whom we are having fun? Does that mean the whole point of existence becomes futile if you can't show it off to others?
Aren't we the more self-confident, liberated,ambitious bunch of young people who are supposed to know what they want and go after it with passion disregarding silly norms and rules? If so, if we are so sure of ourselves, why do we feel this continuous urge of publicly exposing our life (and of course only the good things that happen-has anyone ever written a status update that reads 'I am so depressed and lonely' or post snaps of mundane,boring daily activities?) and telling people everywhere-we are happy and having fun and being cool? Why do we create a pretty/nice/smart/handsome perception of our personalities on these websites when in reality we can be quite far from it? Does it mean the more isolated we become, the more 'individual space' we seek, the more 'independent' we want to be, we also seek more and more assurance and approval re: our success and happiness over and above others competing in the same race from their isolated, miniscule, closed worlds? Is this a fall out of modernization and ambition or is it an intrinsic part of human nature-that the more secluded we become in pursuit of our self-defined happiness and success, the more insecure we get re:who we are in the very first place?
Friday, August 1, 2008
wear sunglasses!
Buz Luhrman wrote 'wear sunscreen'..I write 'wear sunglasses'!
Amazing accessories--they conceal, they reveal. Are they always worn as a shield against the sun? Well..that's there and maybe much more to it.
Why would someone spend $90 (not quoting prices paid by people who belong to the category of don't-know-what-to-do-with-money aka orange county and hamptons' citizens)on a pair of shades/coolers/sunglasses which can be bought for a mere $15?Why buy 'branded' ones when you can buy them from the street shop?Or even, why would men and women alike,own more than a pair of sunglasses when one pair is good enough for keeping them un-tanned?(I ask that to myself as well, being a proud owner of quite a few pairs!) Coz, like shoes,belts,bags,watches yada yada yada...sunglasses in the modern consumer's urban world are viewed as the must-have-beauty-accessories too! (And oh yeah-men have them too;maybe the ones labeled 'metrosexual' have more!!)And why not?
They come in different shapes, colors and sizes and can turn any ordinary-looking homo sapien into an attractive damsel or a smart dude! not to mention of course the 'cool' quotient associated with it. And considering that some part of the intellectual society is still engaged in the endless yet unfair debate about whether beauty matters or whether good looking people get better jobs and better halves,who doesn't want to take a shot at looking nice(and here sunglasses have a double virtue:by not getting tanned you look good an they make you look cool as it is..voila!)
And they hide too--they hide emotions, they hide expressions-simply by virtue of the feature that they hide the eyes. post-breakup,walking down a familiar road and passing the restaurant full of memories and hence eyes watering which is embarrassing in public?wear the shades!
Abusive husband, has the habit of drinking and beating up wife and need to hide the scars when going out?wear those coolers! Super awesome sex/watching Godfather-all 3 parts back to back/trying to finish long-pending work/listless in love--and hence no sleep at night but wake up with bad dark circles(of course here it's only the female species!) which need to be hidden coz it's a whole new days and need to look fresh-wear the sunglasses!
The stories behind each of those pairs are so divergent, so diversified...just as the stories behind the faces...
And often times they even can conceal who exactly you're looking at(drooling over?) in a busy intersection ;-)
So if you're a quintessential urban resident attempting to make a living in every sense, be it the harsh New York or the soft California, whether you look pretty or ugly (according to the 'onlooker'), whether you're 20 or 50, whether you're married or single and whether you care or not-Wear Sunglasses my friend!
Amazing accessories--they conceal, they reveal. Are they always worn as a shield against the sun? Well..that's there and maybe much more to it.
Why would someone spend $90 (not quoting prices paid by people who belong to the category of don't-know-what-to-do-with-money aka orange county and hamptons' citizens)on a pair of shades/coolers/sunglasses which can be bought for a mere $15?Why buy 'branded' ones when you can buy them from the street shop?Or even, why would men and women alike,own more than a pair of sunglasses when one pair is good enough for keeping them un-tanned?(I ask that to myself as well, being a proud owner of quite a few pairs!) Coz, like shoes,belts,bags,watches yada yada yada...sunglasses in the modern consumer's urban world are viewed as the must-have-beauty-accessories too! (And oh yeah-men have them too;maybe the ones labeled 'metrosexual' have more!!)And why not?
They come in different shapes, colors and sizes and can turn any ordinary-looking homo sapien into an attractive damsel or a smart dude! not to mention of course the 'cool' quotient associated with it. And considering that some part of the intellectual society is still engaged in the endless yet unfair debate about whether beauty matters or whether good looking people get better jobs and better halves,who doesn't want to take a shot at looking nice(and here sunglasses have a double virtue:by not getting tanned you look good an they make you look cool as it is..voila!)
And they hide too--they hide emotions, they hide expressions-simply by virtue of the feature that they hide the eyes. post-breakup,walking down a familiar road and passing the restaurant full of memories and hence eyes watering which is embarrassing in public?wear the shades!
Abusive husband, has the habit of drinking and beating up wife and need to hide the scars when going out?wear those coolers! Super awesome sex/watching Godfather-all 3 parts back to back/trying to finish long-pending work/listless in love--and hence no sleep at night but wake up with bad dark circles(of course here it's only the female species!) which need to be hidden coz it's a whole new days and need to look fresh-wear the sunglasses!
The stories behind each of those pairs are so divergent, so diversified...just as the stories behind the faces...
And often times they even can conceal who exactly you're looking at(drooling over?) in a busy intersection ;-)
So if you're a quintessential urban resident attempting to make a living in every sense, be it the harsh New York or the soft California, whether you look pretty or ugly (according to the 'onlooker'), whether you're 20 or 50, whether you're married or single and whether you care or not-Wear Sunglasses my friend!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
endless pursuit....
almost everyone around that you meet every day or pass by on the road as strangers seems to be running in an endless tireless pursuit of something..what is it? better life,more money,continuous promotions,steady relationships,successful career,happy marriage,better than the Joneses..which one or altogether?some say they are following their dreams..some say it's their passion..some believe it's destiny...but everyone is running...non-stop..morning to night...to survive.
does this bring happiness?is this the essence of life? being born in some family..in some country..and then the day one comes into senses (or rather loses senses)..the race begins...doesn't stop till the very last day..is this how the journey is supposed to be?a feeling of competition and ambition even in relaxation and recreation..a mental calculation of what one gets and what one does not get even in the most loving relationships..a fight to keep up with the expectations of even those who were responsible of bringing one to this world...a continuous struggle to fulfill a never ending list of aspirations..and yet feel something is missing and something can be done better..and yet feel let down and dissatisfied..
it's silly to ever stop and give up....coz then one is left behind in the race...so keep trying...and keep on going...never feel tired...coz then one will be considered a failure...it's like a vicious circle..a trap..one common trap that binds us all...irrespective of nationalities...religions...castes,creed,sex,age,color...we are all running...those who admit and those who don't...those who are super ambitious and those who think they have moved away from the race and hence can write motivational books from which the others quote lines during times of despair...every one is a part of this race where we are constantly proving something..how and when did the entire human race get into this trap?
does this bring happiness?is this the essence of life? being born in some family..in some country..and then the day one comes into senses (or rather loses senses)..the race begins...doesn't stop till the very last day..is this how the journey is supposed to be?a feeling of competition and ambition even in relaxation and recreation..a mental calculation of what one gets and what one does not get even in the most loving relationships..a fight to keep up with the expectations of even those who were responsible of bringing one to this world...a continuous struggle to fulfill a never ending list of aspirations..and yet feel something is missing and something can be done better..and yet feel let down and dissatisfied..
it's silly to ever stop and give up....coz then one is left behind in the race...so keep trying...and keep on going...never feel tired...coz then one will be considered a failure...it's like a vicious circle..a trap..one common trap that binds us all...irrespective of nationalities...religions...castes,creed,sex,age,color...we are all running...those who admit and those who don't...those who are super ambitious and those who think they have moved away from the race and hence can write motivational books from which the others quote lines during times of despair...every one is a part of this race where we are constantly proving something..how and when did the entire human race get into this trap?
Monday, July 7, 2008
internationalism
Once upon a time not so long ago,going abroad from India was regarded as not only a big achievement but also highly prestigious. So called NRIs visiting their relatives in major Indian cities on vacations were greeted and treated as VIPs who need extra care simply becuase they speak with an accented English,drink mineral water and earn in dollars. People back home would feel privileged to associate themselves with anyone who has achieved the brilliant feat of traveling abroad and procuring a degree or even better, a job there. Indeed, those were the days when 'abroad' meant something special.
Let's revert back to the present now,circa 2008 summer.
As I begin my short stint at one of the premier think tank organizations in DC,the one thing that ctahces my attention is the unanimously overwhelming presence of Indians, everywhere all around the city and of course at my workplace. They come from all possible communities,races,castes,religions,colors and ages, men and women alike;in metro trains,walking on the roads going to respective workplaces, in the office elevators-cafetaria-coffee shops, in the lines to National Archives and in Museums,like any other American citizen. And someof them wear the same traditional Indian clothes they would wear back home and speak in the same Indian languages with each other, the result being a strange feeling for a fellow Indian onlooker that she is in a mini India in DC! The same feeling she would get when she visits the grocery stores or movie halls or restaurants in San Jose or even in Time Square or Hudson river cruises or in Battery park city in New York; not to mention of course the Indian cab drivers importing the traffic rules from Punjab or Delhi or Hyderabad or the Indian restaurateers proudly selling paan on Lexington Avenue in NY.
A recent scenario: July 4- Independence day of the most powerful nation of the world.
It's special day for the whole country--a national holiday, with one of the biggest celebrations happening in of course the capital city of Washington DC.
Crucial event of the day: fireworks in the evening against the backdrop of the Washington Monument, following a live concert right infront of the Capitol Hill. The concert starts off with the National Anthem and proceeds to honor young Americans representing their country in the upcoming Olympics in Beijing. It feels like a grand historical occassion with zillions of people crowding to catch a glimpse of the fireworks and proudly waving the blue-red-white flag which has been the symbol of power and liberty and individual rights for ages now.
All this is expected for a typical tourist who has heard so much about this celebration.
Before darkness sets in and as people keep coming in, there's a different sight to be seen on the lawns of the capitol hill. There are a large number of white tents on the Hill grounds and scores of people with a 'tilak' on their foreheads, loitering around wearing traditional Indian dresses interspersed with some foreigners wearing similar attire, singing "Hare Rama Hare Krishna". They are the devoted followers of Lord Krishna. In one of the tents a bunch of 'white' women splendidly dressed in Bharatnatyam attire, perform the traditional dance with flawless mudras and facial expressions; except for the skin color, it could've been a bunch of Indian girls dancing. And as one turns around from here, there's a Rath in the semblance of the famous Puri Rathyatra and devotees are climbing up to offer their prayers and obtain 'prasad'. All this right against the white marble backdrop of the Capitol Hill-the seat and symbol of American dream and power.
Times indeed have changed and we are now 'world-citizens', with an international persona yet rooted to our traditions, from different countries,regardless of national boundaries and differences. It does not matter which country we live in; coming to the USA is no longer a big deal; transition to a new country and culture has become much more smooth and hasslefree-what matters is where the opportunities for leading a good life and fulfiling our ambitions are higher.
And that means when NRIs now go back home on vacations, they are just like the scores of other such NRIs present amongst friends and relatives-it's nothing special!
And members of the same family sit around and exchange experiences from different countries, during Christmas Vacation while a newly wed NRI couple plans their honeymoon trip not to Zurich anymore but to the backwaters of Allepey!
Let's revert back to the present now,circa 2008 summer.
As I begin my short stint at one of the premier think tank organizations in DC,the one thing that ctahces my attention is the unanimously overwhelming presence of Indians, everywhere all around the city and of course at my workplace. They come from all possible communities,races,castes,religions,colors and ages, men and women alike;in metro trains,walking on the roads going to respective workplaces, in the office elevators-cafetaria-coffee shops, in the lines to National Archives and in Museums,like any other American citizen. And someof them wear the same traditional Indian clothes they would wear back home and speak in the same Indian languages with each other, the result being a strange feeling for a fellow Indian onlooker that she is in a mini India in DC! The same feeling she would get when she visits the grocery stores or movie halls or restaurants in San Jose or even in Time Square or Hudson river cruises or in Battery park city in New York; not to mention of course the Indian cab drivers importing the traffic rules from Punjab or Delhi or Hyderabad or the Indian restaurateers proudly selling paan on Lexington Avenue in NY.
A recent scenario: July 4- Independence day of the most powerful nation of the world.
It's special day for the whole country--a national holiday, with one of the biggest celebrations happening in of course the capital city of Washington DC.
Crucial event of the day: fireworks in the evening against the backdrop of the Washington Monument, following a live concert right infront of the Capitol Hill. The concert starts off with the National Anthem and proceeds to honor young Americans representing their country in the upcoming Olympics in Beijing. It feels like a grand historical occassion with zillions of people crowding to catch a glimpse of the fireworks and proudly waving the blue-red-white flag which has been the symbol of power and liberty and individual rights for ages now.
All this is expected for a typical tourist who has heard so much about this celebration.
Before darkness sets in and as people keep coming in, there's a different sight to be seen on the lawns of the capitol hill. There are a large number of white tents on the Hill grounds and scores of people with a 'tilak' on their foreheads, loitering around wearing traditional Indian dresses interspersed with some foreigners wearing similar attire, singing "Hare Rama Hare Krishna". They are the devoted followers of Lord Krishna. In one of the tents a bunch of 'white' women splendidly dressed in Bharatnatyam attire, perform the traditional dance with flawless mudras and facial expressions; except for the skin color, it could've been a bunch of Indian girls dancing. And as one turns around from here, there's a Rath in the semblance of the famous Puri Rathyatra and devotees are climbing up to offer their prayers and obtain 'prasad'. All this right against the white marble backdrop of the Capitol Hill-the seat and symbol of American dream and power.
Times indeed have changed and we are now 'world-citizens', with an international persona yet rooted to our traditions, from different countries,regardless of national boundaries and differences. It does not matter which country we live in; coming to the USA is no longer a big deal; transition to a new country and culture has become much more smooth and hasslefree-what matters is where the opportunities for leading a good life and fulfiling our ambitions are higher.
And that means when NRIs now go back home on vacations, they are just like the scores of other such NRIs present amongst friends and relatives-it's nothing special!
And members of the same family sit around and exchange experiences from different countries, during Christmas Vacation while a newly wed NRI couple plans their honeymoon trip not to Zurich anymore but to the backwaters of Allepey!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
tables turned?!?
This being my first ever attempt to write a blog and given that I have a natural inclination to think about everything from the perspective of an Economist,I decided to start off with one of my most favorite topics--the new 'urban' India! All of a sudden over the last 2-3 years India seems to have become the most talked about country in every sense, apart from China of course. Not just because it is expected to become the world's most populated country by 2030, but mainly because it is growing at a rate that has caught the attention of every politician and economist all around the globe. Ambitious infrastructure projects, regulatory changes, a wave of company restructuring, government-led anti-poverty schemes, a huge surge of BPO business drastically transforming the socioeconomic environment, IT boom, huge expansion of the service sector providing employment to thousands of young graduates, a booming consumer market--the list is endless! These dramatic improvements are certainly attracting the attention of a string of international corporate giants who have been falling over themselves to plough billions of dollars into expansion programmes. Microsoft is planning to invest $1.7 billion in India over the next four years, mobile-phone giant Nokia is planning to start making handsets in the country, while computer firm Dell intends to double its India-based workforce to 15,000 by 2008. Retail chains such as Macdonald's and Subway and Starbucks are also planning on making inroads into the consumer markets of every major Indian city. Not just the MNCs and BPOs, domestic enterprises such as Reliance, Tata, Infosys, Wipro etc have become global names too.
Every time I return to my hometown Calcutta, I feel as if I am going to a new city! Local markets being replaced by swanky shopping malls, Barista and CCD in place of small tea-stalls or coffee house, pubs-restaurants-clubs multiplying in big numbers, new models of cars getting released in the market every other day, young students moving around with the latest model of cell phones or bikes--it's a real feast for the eyes of someone who's so used to the laid back, slow moving, lazy Calcutta of the 1990s! And above all everyone around seems to have the money to spend and splurge and soak in the luxuries of an urban city life. Once upon a time, not so long ago, graduating from either an IIT or an IIM was perhaps the only way to enjoy these luxuries on a day to day basis for the young educated crowd; now it's a passe. Getting a job in any big MNC is not considered a hard task for any graduate student and with it comes all the perks-be it traveling to London or San Francisco for "off-shore" assignments or training or buying a house and a car with loans of course, even at an young age of 26-27-a feat that used to be the dream of our parents even during their early middle age! What does the "new urban India" dream about then?
India has indeed risen very fast to be a global force worth recognizing. But is this high GDP growth rate of 9-10% sustainable in years to come? What does the future hold for this "new urban India'? Is India growing but not developing? What about the rural India? How much do we really know or care about "them"?
Every time I return to my hometown Calcutta, I feel as if I am going to a new city! Local markets being replaced by swanky shopping malls, Barista and CCD in place of small tea-stalls or coffee house, pubs-restaurants-clubs multiplying in big numbers, new models of cars getting released in the market every other day, young students moving around with the latest model of cell phones or bikes--it's a real feast for the eyes of someone who's so used to the laid back, slow moving, lazy Calcutta of the 1990s! And above all everyone around seems to have the money to spend and splurge and soak in the luxuries of an urban city life. Once upon a time, not so long ago, graduating from either an IIT or an IIM was perhaps the only way to enjoy these luxuries on a day to day basis for the young educated crowd; now it's a passe. Getting a job in any big MNC is not considered a hard task for any graduate student and with it comes all the perks-be it traveling to London or San Francisco for "off-shore" assignments or training or buying a house and a car with loans of course, even at an young age of 26-27-a feat that used to be the dream of our parents even during their early middle age! What does the "new urban India" dream about then?
India has indeed risen very fast to be a global force worth recognizing. But is this high GDP growth rate of 9-10% sustainable in years to come? What does the future hold for this "new urban India'? Is India growing but not developing? What about the rural India? How much do we really know or care about "them"?
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